By Ariana Erickson —
Plying her with p0rn first, Barbi’s uncle SA-ed her barricaded in a room.
Barbi (yes, that’s her real name) finally told someone when she was 15. The uncle was arrested and sentenced to jail.
Today, Barbi is working with Fight the New Drug to educate people about the dangers of p0rn0gr@phy. We are told it’s just innocent fun when behind the viral world of evil images (from the Greek: porneros = evil, graphe = written down), exploitation abounds more than we admit.
“P0rn0gr@phy is happening. It’s all over,” Barbi says.
“(My uncle) had a lot of control over me as a child,” she adds. “But my future is my choice. I wake up every day, and I get to decide how my day’s going to be. “I won’t let him write the ending of my story. That’s what I get to do. And it’s going to be great.”
Barbi – named after a friend, not the doll – was shown p0rn by her uncle when she was only six. The evil man was prepping her for what he would do to her.
It was 1980s and ‘90s, and outreach and education were low about sexual assault. She kept the dark secret to herself.
But in 7th grade, a guest speaker at school addressed the issue in her class. The next day the teacher did a secret question dynamic. People could ask any question by writing it down and he put it in a bag and pulled it out by random.
Barbi asked about sexual abuse. Even though she tried to hide her identity by writing with her left hand, the teacher knew. He helped her the next day by informing her parents. Her mom lovingly and compassionately asked her about it. Then they went to police.
Her uncle was arrested.
In court, she was afforded a large one-way mirror in the witness box. She could see her uncle to identify him for legal purposes. He couldn’t see her. She was only 17 at that point.
Barbi’s mom read what she had written to address her predator.
“Anytime I have a hard day, I just think of my mom walking down that courtroom,” Barbi says. “Letting him know she knows what he did and she wasn’t going to let it go.”
Today, Barbi is a wife, mother of five and a salon owner. She wakes up at 5 a.m. for CrossFit and weightlifting, channeling her strength into the life she has built. But the past still informs her mission: she wants her home to be a safe space where children can speak honestly, where uncomfortable truths are acknowledged, and where survivors are believed.
“I would love to be that trusted adult for somebody.”
