By Asaiah Logan –
She now apologizes for cursing Christians, Jews and even Shia Muslims.
“My father is one of the founders of Hamas,” says Juman al Qawasmi. “My father and my mom raised us to hate Israel and hate Jewish, hate Christian and even hate the Shia Muslim and everyone who doesn’t belong to Hamas. We cursed them. I just want to say sorry. We feel like we should kill them because this is what Qur’an says.”
Juman al Qawasmi’s smile contrasts with her upbringing. Born in Qatar, she married a Hamas operative and lived for 12 years in Gaza. But when she saw that Hamas didn’t fulfill its promises to the people of Gaza but just started wave after wave of war, she began to question her religion.
“In 2012 I start to have questioning because I saw what Hamas was doing in Gaza when they took control… They just make Gaza more worse. I felt like something was wrong with this religion. I never was satisfied with God (Allah). I never felt that God (Allah) was happy with me.”
It wasn’t easy to question the religion of her family, of her neighbors, of every circle in which she moved. But a friend who confided in her that she had become atheist encouraged her to read the Qur’an critically, without the false reverence she was taught to ascribe to the book.
That’s how Juman found holes: Muhammad asked his adopted son to divorce his wife so that he, the prophet, could marry her – and to back up his request, he received a “revelation” from Allah. “This doesn’t make sense,” Juman says.
She saw how Hamas was killing non-Hamas Palestinians, who ISIS was killing non-ISIS Muslims, and she doubted her religion. She saw her husband turned her neighbors over to an IDF bomb, preferring to allow them to die to be used as anti-Israeli propaganda.
The Israeli Defense Forces called her husband and told him to tell the neighbors to evacuate because they were going to bomb that place. Juman heard her husband tell the IDF, “There’s no one there.”
Then her children got sick, and she prayed to the God she didn’t know and he healed them. In the 2014 war against Israel, she feared for her life and prayed.
“God, if you exist, I want to know you.”
That night she dreamed of her mother, who had passed away in 2005. The moon was large. Her mother told her to look at the moon. Jesus face “came out” of the moon. He spoke a word she had never heard before.
“I am Yeshua.” The sentence was in Arabic, but Yeshua was a Hebrew term she was unfamiliar with. In the Qur’an they call Jesus “Isa.”
“You are my daughter,” Jesus told her.
“Oh this is real,” she realized.
“When I heard the name, I felt like it’s a beautiful name, and he’s a beautiful God,” she says. “I felt peace inside my heart for the first time. I felt like somebody loved me.”
She looked up “Isa” on Google and connected with an outreach ministry in Egypt, where a woman told her that thousands of Muslims are having dreams and come to Christ. The woman encouraged her to read the Bible.
When Juman stumbled across “love your enemies,” it impacted her.
“The Qur’an say we should kill all the Jews, we kill all the Christians, or make them paying Jizya (tax imposed). Even Jesus will come back and fight with us. The trees and the rocks will call the Muslim and say oh Muslim there is a Jew behind me, come and kill (hadith Sahih al-Bukari 2922/ 41:6985).”
Juman is divorced from her husband and apparently lives abroad. It appears she feels safe where she is living. She says her father is Mohammad al Qawasmi, better known by the nickname Abu Jafar, but he is not listed in sites naming Hamas’s founders.
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