90% of divorces initiated by women

By Abdul Masiah —

The scenario is a familiar one: She is exasperated by his insensitivity, moral failings, sexist behavior. Her happily-ever-after has turned into never-happy, so she makes the logical move, the one encouraged by society. Even though she will suffer greater poverty, she thinks it will be worth it. She divorces.

But does she consider the effects on her children?

According to multiple studies, her kids will have a hard time moving upward financially, will struggle with self-esteem, will experiment sexually earlier, will trust less, see a decline in academic performance, become vulnerable to abuse or neglect, drink and smoke more, etc.

“There are clearly negative long-term consequences of divorce—children, parents, and society all suffer,” says a 2014 National Library of Medicine article.

This reporter has seen children of divorced parents fall into drugs and commit suicide. Was the bad behavior of her husband so intolerable that she was willing to damn her kids?

Of course, there are significant motives for a true divorce: serious marital abuse, violent conflict, desertion, or other severe covenant violations.

But many women-initiated divorces stem from her feeling unfulfilled, unsupported in household chores, unreciprocated with emotional needs. She persuades herself she’s miserable and sees greener grass elsewhere, an easy out.

There might be a solution, but counseling is stigmatized. Considering the effects on children, avoiding divorce at all (most) costs may be something you should consider. And even better than marital counseling is a thing called pre-marital counseling. It can START you on the right footing, instead of the defective patterns of your parents.

Nobody thinks they need premarital counseling. They are so in love. They can’t conceive anything other than bliss every day for the rest of their lives. They are different. They have true love.

Here’s the kicker: You don’t have to spend a fortune for counseling. You can usually get it free a a church nearby. Don’t believe in Christianity? That’s okay. Set that aside for a moment and work to save your marriage. Most pastors simply want to help people; it’s the reason they got into ministry.

Stop justifying yourself. Cease from the blame game. The ravages of divorce on your children are reason enough for you invest in restoring your marriage.

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