By Sandra Marroquin –
In Phase 3, Brandon Sutton didn’t want to get drunk and he didn’t want to stay sober.
“Life was miserable. I was not happy,” Brandon says. “Suicide crossed my mind as an option. Going back to jail where I just came from was an option.”
Ultimately, Brandon found Jesus and today leads a recovery group.
Brandon Sutton grew up in a stable family. But when he tried marijuana in junior high, it became the center of his life.
“I was always looking for the next high,” Brandon says. “How can I maximize this fun?”
In high school, he tried harder drugs and drinking.
At a Billy Graham crusade, his entire family went forward to the altar call to receive Jesus – everybody except Brandon.
“I thought it was embarrassing,” he remembers. “I wasn’t committed to what they were committing themselves to. I wouldn’t have called myself an atheist or an unbeliever. It just wasn’t a part of my life.”
What started as fun became a coping outlet when his mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer in her brain, lungs, lymph nodes. She was given 3-6 months to live.
“I was devastated. I remember crying uncontrollably,” he recalls. “I saw her take chemotherapy, radiation. She started to wither away. I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t want to look at her, be around her. So I would escape to go to use drugs, to drink anything, to escape reality.”
Drugs became his life for the next five years. Cocaine became his obsession. To feed his habit, he turned to crime and consequently landed in jail. This phase of his life he called Phase 3.
“Phase 1 was fun and games,” he says. “Phase 2 still fun and games but numb and pain because of my mom.”
Phase 3 was wanting to quit and not wanting to quit.
His grandmother reached out to him at this time.
“I knew if I started drinking and drugging again I would become a terror to Grandmother,” he says. He managed to stay sober for 40 days but didn’t enjoy it.
Finally his aunt invited him to church. It was different this time. The Word resonated with him.
He heard, “God desires a relationship with you.”
“That’s what I was seeking. I was seeking a relationship with God,” Brandon remembers.
Brandon surrendered his life to God. He asked God: “Please do for me what I cannot do for myself.”
When he woke up, he realized the cravings were gone.
“This rush of power and presence of God entered into my life,” he tells. “I felt so hopeful and optimistic, like good things are going to happen and continue to happen for me. Life had meaning and purpose. God desires to do something with my life.”
As he solidified his relationship with God, he returned home and told his mom about his fledgling and growing faith. While doctors predicted only six months, she lasted a lot longer, though still dying.
Mom passed away a few days later.
At her funeral, Brandon spoke to all his friends about the hope that had entered his life through Jesus.
Today, Brandon leads a recovery group at church.
