By Ariana Erickson –
Clarissa’s fiance drove up on his motorcycle just to wave hi. He gave her flowers, sent her surprise gifts to her house and left romantic cards on her windshield. On New Year’s Eve 2012, waiters brought out dessert on a plate with the silver dome covering. When she lifted it, there was a Vera Wang diamond ring.
“There was parts of me that felt worthy of that,” Clarissa says. “I felt like ‘God, I’ve honored you with my life, with my body, so this is my reward.
But the happily-ever-after life of owning a home and building a family together shattered a few years later when she found out her husband was cheating on her. Clarissa survived the crushing rejection and loss of her ideal home life.
For 25 years, Clarissa’s parents were pastors in the San Francisco Bay area. Then Dad backslid and the family fell apart. Clarissa struggled.
“God, how can someone dedicate this many years of their life and then walk away?” she wondered. “Were you ever real to that person, God? Are you real?”
Despite her confusion, Clarissa didn’t dump God. She kept going to church and pulled out of the chaos.
Then she met the man who became her husband in 2009. He was everything a woman could dream of: a man’s man, a business man, a Prince Charming, a romantic king who showered her with affections. He proposed in 2012.
They bought a home in Rancho Cucamonga, CA, and started the perfect life.
Then, Clarissa went on a 16-day mission trip to Europe with her mom.
Ominously, God told her: “Your life will never be the same after this trip.”
What did that mean? Clarissa wondered. She thought it meant she would discover her purpose.
It didn’t.
When she got back, Prince Charming was distant. He slept on the couch. After a few days of being incommunicative, he said, “I don’t think I can be married anymore.” He wanted to sell his business and get a fresh start on life, he said.
Clarissa wanted to fight to save her marriage. She prayed. She cajoled her husband. She proposed marriage therapy. Then she started finding out about his cheating on her.
In a last desperate attempt to hold things together, she asked her husband: I’ll give 99%. All I need is you to give 1%.
“I can’t,” he said.
She knew it was over. She prayed the hardest prayer: Lord, let your will be done.
Eventually, she moved out. The divorce became official
“A whole lifetime with someone ends with a signature, just as it began with one,” she said. “But God’s signature, his blood never goes away. The scripture says he will never leave you nor forsake you. That really hit home.”
Clarissa, who as social worker, spent some months reading her Word and praying at her apartment. Being alone was good because she could focus on God. The image of the palm tree bending but not breaking in the hurricane, ministered to her.
As she emerged from the dungeon of getting cheating on and losing her marriage, she began to try new things and build her life. In 2022, she started a business in fashion – called New Palm Collection – in Pomona, CA, to benefit foster kids, the ones she helped as a social worker.
